Your consigliere, alas, does not yet breathe the rare air of the Private Bank Client. I've never heard an investment pitch from a private bank but I do know some people who do the pitching, and it goes something like this:
A great advantage of being a [famous private bank] private client is access to our internal hedge funds, which are only available to our favored clients.
As it turns out, this access isn't really worth having.
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